Downfall to Death

Jenna Geraci, Guest Contributer

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September 22, 2012 11:53 P.M., Jesse is dead. He overdosed. Although I am sure most people around at the time could see that coming, we didn’t. Or at least I didn’t. Now, we didn’t find out until the next day, September 23, my sister’s birthday… My sister had to find out her dad died on her birthday. Imagine that? She was broken. Her heart was shambled. Seven years old, and she lost her dad.

Growing up around Jesse I was exposed to things that even now my 16 year old self shouldn’t be exposed to. I was around drugs and violence, and my bitch of a mother was allowing all of this to happen. Needles,spoons, and trays just left out for us to see. Almost forgot, my older brother stopped coming home because he couldn’t stomach seeing them two high all the time. Sometimes I think back to myself and ask if they even cared that they had my sister and I when all this was happening. Anyway, the drugs were now becoming a huge problem because my mother started to join in with Jesse and do them. Popping pills and sticking needles in themselves. I knew what they were doing. I understood everything which made seeing it all happen hurt even more.

So, now both of my so called parents were slowly killing themselves right in front of me. They couldn’t even make an effort to hide it from us. At the age of six, I was already helping my sister who was only two at this point. I was cooking for her, giving her baths, and putting her to bed. A six year old, who can barely take care of herself taking care of her two year old sister.

Well, all things must come to an end at some point. That’s exactly what happened. Bye Jesse, have fun in prison. Yup, Jesse got arrested. Guess where? Right in front of me. Probably one of the least worst things I have seen when he was around.

I didn’t expect to miss Jesse when he left but I did.Why though? I will tell you why. When someone is gone, you start to appreciate all the good things they did way more. Every kids dream is to go to Disney World. We see all the commercials on TV about Disney and it just looks like a whole different and magical world. Everyone there seems so happy. You can picture what it would be like. The butterflies you get in your stomach waiting in line to get on the best rollercoaster in the park. The smell of the churros. The sweat rolling down your face because of how humid it is in Florida. Jesse made my dream of going to Disney World come true. Jesse is my sisters dad, my step-dad. When he was away in prison, all I could think about were the memories we have created all together with him. It really almost made me forget all the bad things he had brought to my family.

Five years go by, Jesse is finally out of prison. The day where we could go get him from court was inching towards us. I was ecstatic!!! Finally, we were going to see him again. Things would be better this time. He learned his lesson and is ready to actually be a father to my sister and I. Wrong. All wrong.

Here we go again, drugs and violence start right back up. Only this time, it was worse. He started to really abuse drugs. It was coming to the point where my sister, who was now 7, was saying things like “why are daddy’s eyes like that?” and “why is daddy acting like that?.” Hearing her say those things broke my heart. She didn’t understand, but I did and I just couldn’t find myself to tell her. Jesse couldn’t see what he was doing to us. While hurting himself, he was hurting everyone else around him.

Why? Why us? Why did this have to happen to us, especially to my sister? I still to this day ask myself this. Ever since this happened, I have been nothing but protective over my sister. I will never let anything or anyone hurt her. She will always be one of the main reasons I do anything in my life. To be honest, I am like this will all of my family now. No matter how old or young they are, I will always defend and help them in any type of way I can.

Jesse dying was obviously one of the worst things that has happened to my family and I, but it has changed me. I feel like it has almost changed me for the better. This death has taught me to not get upset over the little things in life. Not everything needs a reaction. Things could always be worse. Also, don’t EVER judge someone’s actions or they way they act because you really never know what is going on in their life behind closed doors. I say this because kids used to make fun of my sister in school after this happened because she would cry sometimes and just not talk to anybody. Little did they know what happened, so who are they to make any type of comments?

Long story short, although this death has really hurt me and others around me, I know now I am a stronger person because of it. Even though I wanna say I hate Jesse for leaving us so early, he had an addiction and I know now how hard it is to come clean from that.

One last thing, Jesse, even after everything you brought to my family, I really do love and miss you…  

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Downfall to Death